Clean your room(s).
Often and without apology.
Because what’s small, eventually becomes large.
When I clean my room, I always tend to struggle with the small stuff. When I first start cleaning, I always start with vacuuming and picking up the tornado of clothes from that morning. Then, there’s the little stuff. Random dryer sheets on the ground, loose earring backs, even the one off sock or half full water bottles scattered around my room (some even lodged under the bed…smh I know). I always tend to look over them when I’m cleaning and focus on the larger issues at hand first. Then, after I’m done dealing with all the big stuff, i realize that I’m left with a collection of the little stuff that has accumulated over time and has become just as overwhelming (if not more) than the sizeably larger task that I just tackled. I always tell myself that moving forward, I’m going to take care of the little things when they happen so that I won’t be overwhelmed when it all piles up in the end. Of course, this never happens. Then, to add to my already terrible anxiety (complete sidenote: I’m not just using that term for aesthetics either. I’ve been diagnosed and will share that journey in a later post) , I realized this method of thinking applies to my life in ways beyond my physical bedroom.
I think I let the small things pile up because it never seems like it’ll be that impactful at the time that it’s happening…until it happens of course. Although, what I always fail to take into account is how the little things pile up and become the very things that overwhelm me. Sometimes to the point where trying to clean it up seems more tasking than it’s worth…because it probably is.
The same can be said when it comes to things that I internalize as well. Whether it be feelings or a memory. Sometimes, I’m so afraid to toss those things out of my life! It’s partly because I am NOT a fan of confrontation — yes, that applies to confronting myself about myself. But mainly because I don’t like burning bridges. I used to think that burning bridges meant calling people out on their shit then leaving them standing right there in it. And who wants to put THEMSELVES through that, right?
Lately, I have learned the importance of burning bridges in the right way. It doesn’t have to be a 5 alarm fire that makes all the sprinklers go off, but instead it can be one of those small silent ones that only you know happened; like when you underestimate just how hot some wings you ordered were but you’re not gonna cry at the table because although it might have caught you off guard, it’s simply not that deep.
Don’t be afraid to burn bridges not only with toxic people, but with toxic thoughts that you foster. Sometimes the bridges you burn can light the way. Just like you need to toss things that are cluttering your physical bedroom, you need to toss thoughts out of your internal bedroom as well. Think about it, you go to your bedroom to rest your body physically and as you are doing that you are resting in your internal bedroom mentally and emotionally. When you are resting your brain does not turn off. Actually, it’s more active for the better part of the night than it is during your literal day. So it is your responsibility to take control of those thoughts your body has access to. Toss the self doubt. Toss the toxic thinking. DEFLEEE toss the thinking that you need to be somebody’s in order to be a somebody. I know, it’s not that easy. I have struggled, and still do, with tossing things out of my room. It’s a journey. A journey that is a marathon and not a sprint. Be forgiving of yourself. Be understanding. Be optimistic of your future.
So, I challenge you all to do two things:
1. Light a candle, put on a playlist that you can vibe out to, and grab something to write on/with.
Write down the little things in your mind have accumulated and turned into big things that you are holding onto that are stopping you from getting to where you want to be — whether that be romantically, career oriented, or on your journey of self love/overcoming mental health struggles.
2. Clean your room.
Throw out those miscellaneous items in your room. Get rid of the clutter! Toss that extra charger that has a short in it. Forgive that person for their actions and remember what they did but FORGET the feelings that you have been harboring towards them or the situation for all these years. These are both places where you rest, physically and emotionally. Do what is best for you and make sure you keep your rooms (internal and external) neat and tidy.
There are no rules to self care, and that’s the beautiful part about it. It’s a messy journey but, let’s do this together!